The Ireland Dispatches

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"It seems we get the Americans early in the evening," says my waiter. It’s 6pm, and I’m the only diner. "You must eat earlier. Our busy time is closer to 9pm." Which is brilliant for us Yanks as Dwyers at 5 Mary Street (Waterford’s best restaurant, and one of the best I’ve found in Ireland) has an early bird £15 fixed price until 7:30. "Here’s an illustration of the different time senses of our cultures," I say to him as I pay my bill. "Your parking lot on the quay, the grace period for an overnight park is until 10am. In Seattle the Early Bird parking rate expires at 7:30am. Any later and you’re a slackard."

Outside of town I picked up an incoherent old man. Shakily he got into the car and began a rant about "big houses" everywhere now and "big money." It was like listening to the unconscious id of Ireland. "Dark frost it was last night, it was cold in the field. Slept in the field." he repeated a dozen times. He wanted to go to Thomastown, then Kilkenny, then directed me on the road to Dublin. It dawned on me that I’d have a companion for life (for his anyway) if I didn’t take action, so I let him out at the next town where someone new could look after him. I gave him my digestive biscuits and cheese and the change in my pocket.

Here is the kind of situation that gathers this nation’s attention. A woman on a train to Dublin asked for a cup of hot water for her herbal tea. The conductor refused to serve her. Ireland listened to this for 15 minutes on national radio this morning. I’ll take this over stateside election coverage any day.

Last cultural contrast for this missive. The Irish version of "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire" has started up. Gay Byrne is the host. He doesn’t yell. He gives more hints. Like me, he wants everyone to win. The £100 question: Which Dublin Square was the residence of Oscar Wilde (this would be good for at least $64,000 in the states.) The £250,000 question: which sport do the Boston Bruins and the Philadelphia Flyers play: ice hockey or basketball? (He picked wrong.)

24 October 2000

Kilkenny, Co. Kilkenny